Terrorism in Frankfurt

October 2019

This story is loosely based on events that may or may not have actually occurred, definitely exaggerated and told in a literary style called tongue-in-cheek, or as Kathy says after almost every story I tell, “It didn’t happen that way at all.”

We had just completed another incredible European vacation and had only one more obstacle to accomplish: The long trip home. We were required to leave the Viking river boat at 3:30 a.m. for our 6:15 flight from Budapest to Frankfurt, and we both set our phone alarms for 2:30. Neither of us were aware that Daylight Savings time set in at 3:00 a.m. so we were an hour early for the bus taking us to Budapest airport (BUD – which is what I would call my airport if I had one).

We arrived at 3:51 and there were already an estimated 2 million people there. Our Viking tour guide directed those of us going to Frankfurt in economy class to lanes 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. When we made it to that area of the airport, we would discover that there were no lanes but only an already agitated crowd waiting for the Lufthansa gate agents to arrive. If I had to guess – and I do – there were about 75 to 100 people in mob formation. We found a few of our Viking shipmates and fell in behind them near the middle back of the undulating cloud of people. The punch line is that it would take us about an hour to get from that position to the gate to check our luggage and receive our boarding passes.

All of that wouldn’t have been so bad – we had about 2 hours until our flight departure – except for the Arab terrorist behind me. He really did look like what you would expect a terrorist to look like and to use Kathy’s description of him, “He had 2 eyes, but they weren’t looking in the same direction.” As soon as the gate agents arrived, the mob of people moved in unison toward what we would soon discover was only one gate – about 2 people and luggage wide – that would lead to one lane and the 5 agents.

As soon as the people moved toward the gate, the terrorist pushed me from behind and kept a constant pressure on me all the way. I already hate crowds of people and he was really irritating me. It was very difficult not to turn around and push him back, and if he hadn’t been a terrorist, I might have. As we neared the gate, he started trying to pass me on my left. There was no room to pass. This was literally front-to-back and shoulder-to-shoulder, but at some point, I decided to let him pass just so he would stop pushing.

By then we were almost to the gate. He had steadily pushed me for 45 minutes. Kathy pointed to my left to an elderly couple trying to make it to the gate. When I say elderly, I mean they appeared to be older than me, and I am in the foothills of the Elderly Mountains. The terrorist was beside me now and my luggage was the only thing stopping him from moving in front of me. I could see in his left eye that he intended to cut off the elderly couple. I was going to let the terrorist go around me, but I was NOT going to let him shove in front of the older couple.

My passive aggressive nature kicked in (I wouldn’t call it that, but Kathy does). I slowed just enough to let the couple enter the gate. When I did, Mr. T(errorist) went around me, but he was pulling luggage, too (no doubt a bomb). Now he was in front of my luggage, but his luggage was behind mine. He tried to move my luggage so he could pull his ahead, but my foot held it fast. I could feel him looking at me with his right eye while keeping his left on the couple now safely within the confines of the gate. He was stuck. He couldn’t enter the gate without leaving his luggage behind. Kathy and I deftly eased by him behind the couple. We were now within an organized lane and Mr. T, in resignation, fell in behind us.

I felt like Tom Cruise in any of the Missions Impossible.